Maybe you didn't see this coming, maybe you felt blindsided when your wife filed for divorce. None of that matters right now. What matters right now is getting a good plan going to deal with it.
Divorce for men is not the level playing field that you might suppose, there is a cultural, legal, and first filer advantage in divorce court. Since women file for divorce at twice the rate of men, the deck is stacked in their favor, but all is not lost. Get an effective plan:
The plan is nothing, planning is everything.
Those words belong to Dwight David Eisenhower and that is what he had to say about the D-Day plan. General Eisenhower mounted the greatest invasion in military history knowing that his plan was full of danger and that many parts of it just would not work, yet it was necessary to plan. I order to plan he needed the best intelligence and information he could get about what he faced on the other side of the English Channel. The deck was stacked against the Allies just as it is for a man in divorce court and the same kind attention to detail, the same understanding of the processes will also lead to your victory.
Planning out and managing your divorce is especially important and here is an important point. You cannot outsource this. Hire an attorney but don't just leave it up to him. Learn the ins and outs of divorce; learn what is possible – how you can win, and how men get screwed. The wrong thing done here or there can literally cost you thousands of dollars.
Learn the process and determine your outcome then set the strategies to get there. You have a life on the other side of the divorce and you want to come to that life prepared to live it. You don't want to come out of divorce court stripped and humiliated and owing a lot of money to her.
When you hire an attorney be prepared to manage the case with him. Attorneys are hard working people. They want to do a good job for you but face it, you are one small case to him. Keep on top of things yourself and be sure is doesn't just bargain your future away so he can earn a quick fee and get on to something else. Really learn the process, make the plans, and get him to help you make it so.